Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
