Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
