So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
