I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You pole danced in your parka.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
