I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
