I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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