my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
