I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
