I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
