fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
