I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
