I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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