Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
