I need help removing her.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
