so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
