well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
