oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
