Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
