dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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