Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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