i was born a porn star she said
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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