Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
