Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
