Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
