Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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