I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
