u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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