Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
