Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize