Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
