oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
