Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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