I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
