everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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