i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
