I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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