i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
