I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
