My friends, they love my intelligence
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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