he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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