Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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