Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
