im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
