therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
