he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
