"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have post one night stand depression
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
