yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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