i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize