you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
