Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
