Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
