What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
