omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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