you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
