eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How's work?
Spinning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
