I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize