get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
