Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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