You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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