i would punch a child for taco bell
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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