direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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