I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Someone shattered a urinal.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
