Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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