that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
